The Ongoing March of the Bubble-wrap Brigade

The health and safety fuckwits are on the march once more: Parents threatened with social services’ intervention if they do not supervise their children’s bike ride to school: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1291970/Couple-threatened-social-services-children-ride-bikes-school.html and rugby - in schools at least – to undergo a face-lift whereby the scrum is outlawed because someone might get hurt: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/10501327.stm. What the fuck?

In the first case, I applaud this couples wish to enable their children a degree of freedom and self-sufficiency which they themselves enjoyed. In the latter, all contact sport can be dangerous – it is refereed to minimise that danger, although a small percentage of injuries will, no doubt be sustained.

In both cases, am I seriously being told that the children would be ‘safe’ if these factors were removed? If the answer’s yes, then these fuckwits have got their heads buried so far in their own arses that it’s a wonder they don’t just pop out of existence. Kids cycling to school alone are apparently at risk from ‘stranger danger’ (a term which I incidentally loathe due to it’s insinuation that every stranger is some dirty mack-wearing paedo whose single track mind is to find a vulnerable child to show some puppies to) and traffic accidents. Heh – well, we’re all at risk of being mowed down as soon as we step out of our front doors. The fact that these kids are cycling through back streets minimises this in as much as it can be minimised. As far as the strangers are concerned, there’s a chance that everyone at meet might not have the most honourable intentions, but is this a reason to stop their interaction with the rest of humanity?!

As far as possible injuries sustained during contact sports goes; I’m sure most people will agree that children are far more likely to injure themselves and each other when not engaging in a game that, while is a good outlet for physical aggression, is regimented and refereed.
What really fucks with my head with these two stories, though, is that we’re continually bombarded by a certain section of the population, that unless we cycle everywhere and play sports and eat our vegetables and wash behind our ears, we’ll all die before we’re thirty and be reprobate souls until we do. . . and then the same bunch of interfering cuntlords (there’s more than a little overlap) comes along to tell us we can’t do it after all because we might hurt ourselves.
The only way the possible dangers in the above situations could be avoided is if children – like smoking – are banned from public places and raised in isolation until such time as they can be released in to the community without being carried off by a nonce or skinning their knees after a fall (mental anguish, possibility that the wound might get infected with plague or some such).

Instead of wasting time on traditionally normal, ‘moral’ (whatever that is) and generally upstanding behaviour, why can’t these glorified excuses for curtain twitchers stop interfering in the normal lives of normal people and help some poor bastards that actually need that help?! While time’s wasted on these pathetic charades the kids that really need it are just going to go wanting. . .

Fury of the sticky, wrath of the salty

Riddle me this; why, by Health & Safety the cotton-wool and bubble-wrap brigade, is it deemed less of a risk/best practice etc to treat people like two-year-olds and prevent them from opening windows in public buildings, places of work etc? It may not be like it in yours – believe me, you are fortunate.

For the time being, I sit here, sweating not in the gloriously warm weather that I can just about admire through the filth-coated visage of our seldom never cleaned beautifully pristine office windows, but in the dank, lifeless, foetid, dead air that’s been continually recycled since the system was installed a few years back. I’m sure I smelled one of my own wafting past the other day but as we hadn’t been acquainted for quite some time, I couldn’t be entirely sure. . .

I’m certain this is the reason I’m continually going down with, or emerging from a bout of Foul-snot Syndrome (at this very moment I battle on, mightily while The Dispenser of Sexual Frivolities (it’s better than what I usually call her) languishes on a damn hillock of soggy tissues. . . maybe not a huge change from the usual, but at least they don't tend to be green.

Anyway, I’m getting off the point. My gripe isn’t temperature and sweatiness per se (a visage of glistening skin can always be of interest when slaving away. . . erm, or so I’m told anyway), my gripe is that we are continually told, despite evidence to the contrary, that the primitive excuse for a cooling system (it doesn’t count as ‘air-con’ – it’s not good enough) keeps the internal environment at the perfect balance blah blah blah

Bollocks

Even if that were true, am I the last fucking person that enjoys fresh air?!

How is a workforce continually going down with the same coughs and colds beneficial?

In fact, mid-rant I realise that part of the piss-poor excuse of moving our cool, spacious, slightly-troll-like-in-that-it-made-you-feel-like-one smoking area and built a small bus shelter that you can maybe squeeze five people into and then threaten you with disciplinary action should you stand outside it, was that a non-smoking colleague could have the window open and might breath in some of the icky smoke and maybe have a wittul bit of a coffie-waffie and THEN YOU’LL ALL GET CANCER AND DIE AND THAT’LL SHOW YOU, YOU FOUL, DISGUSTING, DEGENERATE PIECE OF SHIT OF A HUMAN BEING NOW OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY YOU LIKE MY SHIT!

*ahem*

Oh, I’m forgetting, someone could fall out and hurt themselves or might breathe pollen and their head explodes they get a runny nose or some other contrivance . . . personally I would rather a thousand cunt-footed-perambulatory failures went rushing to their deaths with pollen stabbing them in the eyeballs if I could have a nice bit of a breeze . . .pub anyone?